The thoughts that are waiting to be exposed on this page have consumed and tortured me for some time . Without any mercy, I hit the letters hurrying to record every bit of idea that crosses my mind during such difficult times. No human is able to relate to the heaviness of my soul and cries in the middle of the night seeking for peace and revenge at the same time. I have never experienced such intense rage towards my life while asking for Allah’s forgiveness as the rage subsides just to resume its workings shortly after. I struggle to unite my experience with the others since the pain of the heart can be so excruciating that at some point it excludes it as a unique and sole experience. Sitting in the dark raises many questions, disappointments, pity, resentment, longing, self destruction, sorrow, and the worst of all- vengeance.