Saturday, April 3, 2010

Mothers and Daughters

Bismillah Al RaHman Al RaHeem

This story is from my recent visit to my mother and  father. There are too many emotions and perhaps not coherent sentences but I m sure I convey my message  to all of you in the clearest way possible at the moment.
        "Are we dying off?" my mother asked me at the dinner table.
Confused by the statement that sprang out of nowhere, i restated her question, "who are we who are dying off???"
       She looked at me and cried. I have not seen my mother for 6 months and the time of my young and hectic life carried that period unnoticeably. Unfortunately it is not so  for her.  My natural reaction was- I got closer to her and said that i loved her and was sorry for being away for such a long time. I hoped that it would be enough...
      I know,  in her solitude, she thinks about everything in her life. Alone. Her kids have flown away from home and busied themselves with the daily lives. What about her? Her sleepless nights and worrisome days? I dont thank my mother enough , actually I never told her how I appreciated her for everything she has done for me. Why am i so selfish and accept everything without a question and appreciation? Mothers dont owe us anything and all the wonderful things they do is from their love  and not because they HAVE to.  So why do we act as if we are forced to appreciate. If anything we at least have to be equal  and show our  love from our hearts . How greedy are  we?   We  easily say " I love you " to a foreign person but shy away from saying the same to our mothers?
back to her question...
     "We are the real mothers, who care and love their children selflessly. We are the mothers who protect you more then their lives", she looked away with the frustrated look and eyes full of tears. Silence. i didn't know where to begin because i  knew that "her" type is disappearing  perhaps morphing into some other super  modern mother image. How much worry she puts in that simple question and how important it is for the society. She told me that she didn't understand what went wrong.  Poor thing, she doesn't know that not all women are like her and don't teach the things she considers sacred.  She doesn't know that the pride and honesty are not the top values of these days nor chastity and cleanliness of the heart. How could i tell her that her own daughter at some point of her life was embarrassed of her mother's boldness and care.
       My mother looked at me and said, " please continue me in you. I want everyone say that you are  N's daughter ". Without any hesitation,  I hugged my mom with the ball of emotions stuck  in my chest. The dearest and closest person in my life once in her life asked me for something, Finally!
When was the last time  your mother  ask your for something? My mother finally did after 30 years and i am happy to oblige. I just hope she shows the need in me more often .. I live in a verbal society where silent emotions have lost its strength and it is easy to overlook that dearest mother who sits on the chair quietly through the good and bad  without asking for anything but giving and giving ...
My dear readers,in any stage of your lives,  please be with your mother more often , kiss her on her head, and tell her how much you love her. It doesn't take much effort on your side  but it makes your mother the happiest person in the world.


  1. Salam Alikom dear sister, I've been waiting for your blog updates. This post made me cry. Subhana'Allah. I lost my mother 14 yrs ago and I was very close to her. She is still in my heart and will be, until the day I die. She meant the world to me. I am and always will be the type to tell people (especially my mom/Parents) that I love them and appreciate them. I am happy to say, I didn't take advantage of that with my mom. I told her I Loved her and always did things to show her my love.

    Your right, everyone needs to do what you said. Your poor mom, miskeena, she sounds like my mother in law!

    Allah bless her and reward her ameen

    I love your posts and I am so happy to see you around. email me. please. I would love to meet you. (((hugs))) insha'a'Allah! you are doing well! and your family, too. Come visit my blog! and find out more about me.

    ( Um A )

  2. Assalam alaikum

    Mashallah! That's an amazing post with many things to ponder upon.

    "please continue me in you"- that's the essence of parenthood. Although our children are separate individuals, very different from us with their own lives and brains, making their own decisions and mistakes, much more advanced generation then us... Yet parents transfer a big part of who they are into their kids. Some of it happens automatically. When my son was born from the very first days I noticed that I talked to him with my mother's words and intonations :) Even she was far away, I could feel her in myself strongly. I grew up watching my Mom taking care of younger children and absorbed that knowledge like a sponge. This knowledge, experience we receive and absorb automatically are priceless. Without them we'd be lost and make a lot of mistakes. And that's why FAMILY is so important for breeding harmonious individuals for a healthy society.

    this "continuing" in our children is a connection between generations, it's the love and care, it's individuality, it links back to our grand grand parents, to who they were.

    Mothers like yours Alia won't die out... there always will be caring sacrificing mothers and those who care less...

    I need to call my parents more often. Thank you for the reminder :)

  3. wa3likom al salam, thank you for your contribution and love your mother allah yir7amha . take care of yourself and raise well educated and civilized babies who in turn would continue the nature of goodness in all of us.

  4. as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,

    MashaAllah sis you made me cry! I am living overseas from my mother and it is hard to see her getting older each time I see her :(

    Your post makes me realize I need to do more with my mother-in-law as well inshallah!

    JazakAllah khair for such an emotional and important message in your post.