Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Luxury of Your Private Space

Bismillah al raHman al raHeem,

    In this entry, I would like to introduce a topic of having a private space within your own house. Those who come from a very busy with people house would node their heads and perhaps agree with me on the absence of any privacy in their lives; and then there are those who come from  the Western families and who long  for the interruption of that privacy from their parents and siblings. In both cases, the topic can be related to all of us with different backgrounds and lifestyles. Having enjoyed life in a big house with many people while having my private space  is a wonderful gift that Allah has provided me with. Al7amdullah. My parents created the environment that would allow an individual voice to be heard and considered by all and not muffled down and discredited. I always felt  being a part of a big family while having my own ideas and luxury of being on my own (going into a cocoon stage)  just to return with new ideas, poetry, drawings, papier-mache, discoveries,  and etc. Being a child and a teenager i never had a necessity to close my door because i knew when i was doing something i never hid  things and my parents trusted me and just waited for  some new proposals that would surprise them at the dinner table. All of us have turned out great al Hamdullah. the private space has helped us to become  free in our individual development and establish trust with Allah, our parents , and ourselves.
   What is that private space? It is not a physical four-wall space with the door that can be shut closed rather it is a state of mind when a person can concentrate and do things on his or her own. It doesn't have to be for a long time either. Just by giving a person a couple of hours of personal time would allow him or her to self define his or her  position within the house and society ( externally) and within him or herself ( internally) . Such assessment is vital to any of us. Even the scientists agree that our brain needs some time to process information and it would usually shut off for maintenance automatically. Why not  helping our brain and the nervous system by facilitating it with a private space sessions. How can one  fight for his or her privacy ? Some start a verbal fight with the parents which would only back fire with suspicion.   Some physically seclude themselves  mentally  and pretend to participate  in a group activity  failing to satisfy intro personal ego and  social relationship. There are many tricks one would come up with to run to that private space and reflect on his or her being.
For us Muslims, we are provided for. This private space is ordered to us by al Salat ( the prayer). 5 times a day plus the sunnah , we can spend at least 100 minutes on our own with Allah ( sub7ana wa ta3ala) and ourselves EVERY DAY. During the prayer, you and I are reciting ( training the memory),  physically moving ( health improvement),  energy both positive and negative releasing ( good for the nervous system) and disciplining our brain and body ( balance of life). So whenever I hear  "i have no time for myself" from my Muslim sisters , I would attempt to "open their eyes" on the miracle of the prayer.  Thus, there is no necessity for the psychiatrists, anti-depressants , anonimous groups and other's attention. The balance shoul be serached within ourselves and not derived from the external sources ( that can make us dependent and vulnerable) .
Dear sisters, please cherish the time you are given to spend with yourself in a quality manner.  Slow down when  you recite and  feel it with your heart. Allah yahdina ( Allah guide us) 

The info above is my thoughts that are supported by my observations and  consultations with the  Yoga teachers and doctors. i will ask my best friend who is a Yoga instructor to write an essay about the energy balance as one makes roko'a ( standing on the knees and touching the flow with four limbs nose and forehead).

P>S , the next post will be about the menstrual cycle and its beauty.


  1. I would rather say a "private time" or time for meditation, self reflection etc. And another thing.. about those who "come from Western families need some interruption" is waaaay too general of a statement. Otherwise good points, Sheikha Aliya ;)
    -- Sofia

  2. i m general so there will be a topic to talk about ... disagree etc .. not opening all the cards :)just yet, thank you 7abooba

  3. I cried when I read this. Your very right about this. subhana'Allah.

  4. Mashallah this is a wonderful post.

    though I do have to point out that some cases of conditions like depression and such do need professional/medical attention.

    but yes, there are those who get depressed because they have no direction in life and Islam and prayer can be a huge help in these kinds of cases :)