Thursday, December 24, 2009

A love letter to my husband

al salam 3alikom,

I would love to share with you how I address the relationship with my husband. some girls have posted articles about the life under the veil, muslim women in their homes and etc. I learned from my parents how to keep the communication channel clear. My father never kissed or hugged my mother in front of anyone. My mom never addressed him with some cutie words or phrases. It is shameful, my grandmother ( allah yir7amha) used to say. Nonetheless, i felt the love between my parents through the respect and this invisible unbreakable trust in each other. One day, when i was really young maybe 6 or so, my mother got really sick . She laid in her bed and i would pick in the room from time to time to check on her. Once, i saw my father sitting next to my mom, his head was leaning down and he was praying. i felt the power of missing and love in that room. silent emotions that filled the room forever stay in my heart. I heard him whispering, how can you leave me like this, mother of my children? even now when i write my eyes are wet with tears remembering the emotions of that moment.
so here is my letter to my husband


"I woke up in the morning and looked outside of the window. My brothers woke up before me and were the reason for my arousing. I was only 8 and the Sunday mornings were the only time I could go outside and enjoy my own time apart from my school. My nanny smiled at me when I woke out of the room and straight away started to hasten the breakfast preparation. My noisy younger brothers ran around shouting and expressing the truly child’s joy of the first snow. I washed my face and looked outside of the window. The mother winter already painted the windows with the various forms of circles and arrows. I breathed on it and the cold glass right away created the circle of fog. I naturally drew a heart and an arrow striking it from the right and appearing from the opposite half. I had always dreamt of love that I read about in the books, thus drawing hearts helped me to believe in my dream…

Although it was warm and comfy in the house, I wanted to go out and throw myself into the snow and roll. Our nanny braided my long hair accompanied with my crying and nagging. At last, the breakfast passed unnoticeable in my expectations of getting out of the house. I got dressed literally removing any chance for the snow to reach my body. Gloves and I was ready…

I opened the door and walked out. My brothers played outside running and rolling on the deep snow. The snow flakes slowly descended on the ground over night turning the fall and gloomy scenery into a magic kingdom ruled by the Grimm’s ice queen. The sharp and cold air started to bite my cheeks and my eyes filled with tears from the sun rays bouncing from the snow fields. I felt happy. I couldn’t understand why but I believed that I could fly. I just ran through the plate of snow. Like crazy, I voiced out some random and wild sounds and ran further into the snow. I went too deep and fell… rolled on the snow… stopped and listened to the air… It was quiet… I could hear my heart like a bird in the cage rapidly beating… I could see different colors before my eyes while enjoying the extra dosage of fresh air… I closed my eyes and listen to any movement and noise on the snow…Nothing seemed to make me happier…

When I hear your voice , I go back to that first winter day feeling my emotions overwhelming my chest with an indescribable feelings so it is hard to breath and I want to run carelessly. As if I have wings, I jump in the air just seeing your smile and eyes before me. The wind is in my face and the cold streams bite me … the power of love doesn’t see the earthly barriers. I m again 20 years younger, a girl with gloves and a funny hat falling in love with snow flakes and experiencing excitement that will be re-energized later in her life.

Perhaps, for someone who never experienced winter this would appear strange. Nonetheless, here I am going through the snow fields and feeling new overvhelming emotions that embody my chest and burst out with a beautiful force."

Aliya

December, 24

3 comments:

  1. The letter to your husband is beautiful. ♥

    I love how you compared the love for your husband to the sensations you felt playing in the snow. It was very visual. MashaAllah.

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  2. again, another tear jerker. subana'Allah! I love this.. You took me there. I was there with you. I'm sorry about your mom if she passed away. That part made me cry. I love the way you described your love towards your husband. Perfect and so beautiful. I got to the end and now know, you've never touched snow.. But, it's all what you feel. Awww. Masha'a'Allah. May Allah always keep the love between you and your dear husband ameen

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  3. Mashallah you wrote all that without ever touching snow!!

    I teared up too at the part about your mother...

    I love how you describe that childhood joy you remember when you are with your husband. Mashallah it is just beautiful :)

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